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Sunday, 25 November 2012

Tributes pour in after Bruce Willis loses his long battle....

Willis yesterday
Tributes are pouring in after a spokesman for the actor Bruce Willis, called a press conference to announce that the actor had lost his long term battle with male pattern baldness. The condition affects almost one in every three men and it is thought that male action stars are particularly susceptible.

Willis is believed to have contracted the disease during his carefree, hair-filled, days on TV's Moonlighting in which the actor played David who was obsessed with diddling Maddie, but despite a full head of hair his amorous advances usually ended in a comedic fiasco.

Willis was first diagnosed with the disease in 1997 by a member of the public when someone shouted out , "Oi Kojak," from a passing stretch Limo on Hollywood Boulevard.

Happy hairy times
Cybil Shepard, Bruce's co-star in the long running Moonlighting, was at the hospital when the actor broke the news that he had lost his fight against male pattern baldness. Afterwards a clearly shocked Cybil Shepard spoke to the Tainted Archive, saying, - "I'm sure Bruce is touched by the letters of support from fans, but at times like these it is close family and friends who are the most important. And we are all there for him."

Fellow slap-head Sean Connery sent Willis  a text message saying that although it may seem like the end of the the world, life does indeed continue after baldness. "Look at me," Connery said. "I was James Bond but since I've gone bald I won an Oscar." And a message of support was also sent from Patrick Stewart who Tweeted, "You can prosper Bruce. Make it so."

Bruce Willis was unavailable for comment but his hair-stylist was reported to be suicidal after hearing the news.

2 comments:

Monty said...

Lol! Very funny :D

B2B said...

LOL indeed!